The experiences of childhood leave an indelible impression on the life of a person. The values, nurture and world-view of the parents are reflected in the developing personality of the child, and will develop further. It is impossible to avoid passing on parental characteristics since it begins at a very early age, even before the child becomes self-aware. At that point the tiny person is receptive soil that can accept any seed, without distinction, and allow it to put down roots in his heart.

For several years the social movement "Ukraine without Orphans" has enjoyed the support of Christians of various churches and denominations. The only truely effective help for a child without parents is adoption. Through the processes of nurture it is possible to influence not only the world-view of the child, but also to add a blessing to the future of our society.

It seems to me that in light of the motto of our church for 2012 "I send you", the topic of adoption is particularly appropriate. All the more so, in my opinion, because heroic efforts are not just being made in some distant place by people we don't know. Fellow Christians from our church and other churches in the Poltava region have heard God's call and opened their hearts to those who are in real need.

Here is the first interview in the series: "Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me..."

Ira, please tell me, why did you decide to take this significant step? What moved you to assume the guardianship of this child?

First, there was the need that the child had for help. God gave me this desire and didn't leave me any peace. I had heard a lot about orphans, thought about them for many years, saw them, had experience working with boys and girls in orphanages and churches, took part in various efforts involving them, and for these reasons the need was very real to me. Then I heard of a particular girl who had no family. At that point God laid it on my heart and I began to see it not just as her problem, but as my own as well. I decided to ask Sveta to become part of my family.

Ira, you already have a biological daughter and are raising her as a single mother. Weren't you afraid that if you took on another family member, you would all be a lot worse off financially?

Of course I was worried about that, to what extent I would be able to provide for their needs, not only the material needs, but psychological, intellectual and spiritual ... those fears were there. But the desire that God had placed within my heart was stronger. The Lord guided me - I saw His hand in everything - and now I am learning to trust Him every day.

I have often heard that the process of adoption is rather problematic in our society. Many people don't see it through to the end. The bureaucratic formalities didn't stop you?

No, they didn't stop me. Of course, there were a lot of bureaucratic "hurdles" and all types of legal actions - I had to go through some definite difficulties. I think the process took about nine months, a rather symbolic time period. As a mother carries a child in her womb, I also "carried" all those papers to various offices in order to adopt Sveta. Here's how I look at it: if it hadn't been in God's plan for me to expand my family, then He would have set up an obstacle that I would not have been able to get past - but that didn't happen. Filling out paperwork is not the type of thing that would stop me. The memory of the difficult time with the paperwork is already fading. But I do remember that time and again there were new requirements for assembling documents, and I had to find the next form to fill out when the adoption bureaucracy made mountains out of mole hills. Even the social workers who were working with me were surprised and said that there was certainly no lack of thoroughness. Everything that was possible to bring in and present I brought in and presented. Of course, there were time of desperation. If I hadn't had the support of my family and the Lord, I would have given up. I perfectly understand those families that start the adoption process and then quit. Though in my case it made a big difference that I had already gotten to know Sveta before the "bureuacratic ordeal". I already knew the child, she was waiting for me, so I never let anything stop me.

Did you get any support from the government agencies, or did you have to carry the whole load yourself?

Well, how can I explain this ... of course there are special services that are intended to motivate people to adoption and assuming guardianship and help during the preparation of the paperwork. My observation is that the determining factor for the helpfulness of the individual person in an agency is not their title, but who they are personally, their character. There are those who keep appointments, and those who don't. Instead of encouragement some officials simply say "what a nuisance!" But there were also many, even non-believers, who supported and helped me.

Ira, the child you adopted is already partly grown. Most psychologists say that the character of a person is already formed by the age of three. Sveta is already well past three years of age. Are you worried about problematic values she has already learned, or about a genetic predisposition she may display sooner or later?

First, in my own life I have already experienced and seen how God can change a person. I have seen changes in other people. No one can work the transformations that God does. I believe that regardless of the genes, if the Lord touches Sveta's heart, then that will overcome any family trait. God's action in a person's life is much stronger than their genes. I have seen God-fearing families where the children were, unfortunately, not at all like their parents, and on the other hand, sometimes you meet children from terrible families who nontheless have a wonderful character.

Ira, in addition to Sveta, you are raising an older biological daughter. Are you afraid that you won't be able to love your adopted daughter as much as your own?

I am not going to say that I love Sveta as much as my biological daughter. It's a lot easier to love and accept blood relatives. With non-biological children there is a process through which feelings develop and it takes a certain amount of time. Of course, the love for your own child and for the adopted child are different. But of course I love Sveta. I love her, I worry about her ... those feelings are being perfected. I believe that God will complete His work in me. Is it easy for any of us to love a complete stranger? For God there are no strangers, but people have to realize this and learn it from Him. And speaking from my own experience, that's not easy. It's not possible to just throw a switch and love someone. When you see a child in an orphanage, you understand his difficult lot in life and your heart fills with sympathy and pity. But when you start to live with that child you start to understand his strengths and weaknesses, you start to become accustomed to him and the sentimental feelings disappear. That's where God's lessons in love start.

Since we have already spoken some about the relationship between the older and younger daughter, can you tell us how Nastia reacted to your decision to adopt Sveta? How is their relationship?

Soon after I had the idea to adopt I told Nastia about it. My biological daughter needed a little time to come to terms with the idea. At this point the girls have a wonderful relationship. The significant difference in age played a major role. Perhaps if Nastia were a little younger, there may have been feelings of rivalry or something like that, but everything has worked out fine.

Ira, you are a single mother. That can't be easy, especially financially. Do you see God's care and provision for your family? Are you experiencing in your personal situation what the verse in the Bible says about the Lord being the God of the orphans and widows?

Of course, without a doubt I can say that without the Lord, this would not be possible - not physically, financially, morally, spiritually or intellectually ... I think that most of the blessings my family will experience will be because we took an orphan into our home. Of course there are problems and trials - there always will be. But we all need to grow in faith. God will not abandon us in that regard, I am certain.

And finally, I would like to ask you to offer some advice to those families who are planning to adopt a child. Would you advise a believing family to adopt an orphan?

I can't make an unconditional recommendation and say: "go ahead". I am sure that no one other than a Christian can adopt and properly raise a child from an orphanage, but the decision needs to be a careful one. We often say with God all things are possible, but the wise care of a child needs to be with God's help, and not just banal Christian phrases. You need to be aware that a little person is entering your home from a completely different environment and you will start a new life. Of course I would like to see Christian families adopting, but they need to make the decision seriously, with the Lord's guidance. If God has truely laid this good work on a heart, He will not turn away, but guide and bless.

Thank you, Ira, that you agreed to speak so openly with us. May God bless your family in all ways!

I was happy to share! Thank you!

Tanya Varyanitsa